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Monday, March 9th, 2009
2:53 pm
I am in love with greek-style yogurt. It's so creamy! I got this kind at the Merc that has fig in the bottom and it is amazing. But even the plain is good with honey.

I ordered some text books on half.com for my Kaqchikel class and they sent me the wrong one! Hopefully I can get it sorted out before we start reading it. And they still haven't sent me the main textbook! How am I supposed to write sentences about getting drunk on moonshine without it?

In other news, I am sick to death of my roommates boyfriend, who is in our room at least 10 hours of every day. I can't wait for my giant house next year!
Monday, November 10th, 2008
11:18 pm - Reasons to Survive November by Tony Hoagland
November like a train wreck
as if a locomotive made of cold
had hurtled out of Canada
and crashed into a million trees,
flaming the leaves, setting the woods on fire.

The sky is a thick, cold gauze
but there's a soup special at the Waffle House downtown,
and the Jack Parsons show is up at the museum,
full of luminous red barns.

Or maybe I'll visit beautiful Donna,
the kickboxing queen from Santa Fe,
and roll around in her foldout bed.

I know there are some people out there
who think I am supposed to end up
in a room by myself

with a gun and a bottle full of hate,
a locked door and my slack mouth open
like a disconnected phone.

But I hate those people back
from the core of my donkey soul
and the hatred makes me strong
and my survival is their failure,

and my happiness would kill them
so I shove joy like a knife
into my own heart over and over

and I force myself toward pleasure,
and I love this November life
where I run like a train
deeper and deeper
into the land of my enemies.

(listen to him read it here)

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Wednesday, July 4th, 2007
12:16 pm - Hard Rain by Tony Hoagland

After I heard It's a Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall
played softly by an accordion quartet
through the ceiling speakers at the Springdale Shopping Mall,
I understood there's nothing
we can't pluck the stinger from,

nothing we can't turn into a soft drink flavor or a t-shirt.
Even serenity can become something horrible
if you make a commercial about it
using smiling, white-haired people

quoting Thoreau to sell retirement homes
in the Everglades, where the swamp has been
drained and bulldozed into a nineteen-hole golf course
with electrified alligator barriers.

You can't keep beating yourself up, Billy
I heard the therapist say on television
                                                         to the teenage murderer,
About all those people you killed—
You just have to be the best person you can be,

one day at a time—

and everybody in the audience claps and weeps a little,
because the level of deep feeling has been touched,
and they want to believe that
the power of Forgiveness is greater
than the power of Consequence, or History.

Dear Abby:
My father is a businessman who travels.
Each time he returns from one of his trips,
his shoes and trousers
                                   are covered with blood-
but he never forgets to bring me a nice present;
Should I say something?
                                                       Signed, America.

I used to think I was not part of this,
that I could mind my own business and get along,

but that was just another song
that had been taught to me since birth—

whose words I was humming under my breath,
as I was walking through the Springdale Mall.

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Monday, April 30th, 2007
11:00 pm - The Balcony by Louise Glück
It was a night like this, at the end of summer.

We had rented, I remember, a room with a balcony.
How many days and nights? Five, perhaps--no more.

Even when we weren't touching we were making love.
We stood on our little balcony in the summer night.
And off somewhere, the sounds of human life.

We were the soon to be anointed monarchs,
well disposed to our subjects. Just beneath us,
sounds of a radio playing, an aria we didn't in those years know.

Someone dying of love. Someone from whom time had taken
the only happiness, who was alone now,
impoverished, without beauty.

The rapturous notes of an unendurable grief, of isolation and terror,
the nearly impossible to sustain slow phrases of the ascending figures--
they drifted out over the dark water
like an ecstasy.

Such a small mistake. And many years later,
the only thing left of that night, of the hours in that room.

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12:11 am - April is National Poetry Month and it is almost over
So I think I will post a few of my favorites before May is here.

Other Lives and Dimensions and Finally a Love Poem by Bob Hicok

My left hand will live longer than my right. The rivers
of my palms tell me so.
Never argue with rivers. Never expect your lives to finish
at the same time. I think

praying, I think clapping is how hands mourn. I think
staying up and waiting
for paintings to sigh is science. In another dimension this
is exactly what's happening,

it's what they write grants about: the chromodynamics
of mournful Whistlers,
the audible sorrow and beta decay of "Old Battersea Bridge."
I like the idea of different

theres and elsewheres, an Idaho known for bluegrass,
a Bronx where people talk
like violets smell.  Perhaps I am somewhere patient, somehow
kind, perhaps in the nook

of a cousin universe I've never defiled or betrayed
anyone. Here I have
two hands and they are vanishing, the hollow of your back
to rest my cheek against,

your voice and little else but my assiduous fear to cherish.
My hands are webbed
like the wind-torn work of a spider, like they squeezed
something in the womb

but couldn't hang on. One of those other worlds
or a life I felt
passing through mine, or the ocean inside my mother's belly
she had to scream out.

Here when I say "I never want to be without you,"
somewhere else I am saying
"I never want to be without you again." And when I touch you
in each of the places we meet

in all of the lives we are, it's with hands that are dying
and resurrected.
When I don't touch you it's a mistake in any life,
in each place and forever.

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Monday, February 26th, 2007
10:27 pm
For lack of anything to say.

current mood: quiet

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Tuesday, October 10th, 2006
2:13 am
Agh, why are relationships so confusing?


Today in Geography, we watched a National Geographic video about cyclones. It talked about Hurricane Andrew for a while, and then  mentioned how fortunate it was that Andrew didn't hit New Orleans. The video went on to discuss how New Orleans had never been hit by a major hurricane, which is lucky, because it wouldn't hold up well. It showed a meteorologist discussing how the levees only provided a false sense of security, and if a storm came through, the city would be unprepared and it would be a disaster. It was chilling, really.

In other news, why didn't I hear about the movie adaptation of The Mysteries of Pittsburgh earlier? Peter Saarsgaard is playing Cleveland, which is so awesome I could die. He's my favorite character. I really want to reread the book, now.

I'm really looking forward to fall break, although I have a class until 7:15 Wednesday, which sucks. I wish it was a class I could get away with skipping.

current mood: unsure

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Tuesday, September 26th, 2006
8:17 pm
Fuck, I missed Gilmore Girls. They don't replay it, do they?

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Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006
3:42 pm
I made this mix in June. When I listen to it now, it reminds me of Central Park. I'm really proud of the way the songs flow; I think this is the best mix I've made.

.zip file

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Sunday, July 23rd, 2006
3:38 pm - i fell in love again
I love Chicago. I think I want to live there some day. I can't form my thoughts well enough to say anything about the trip, but overall it was enjoyable, despite a few burned bridges. My pictures aren't that great so I don't know if I'll post any of them. Instead, here is a video of Rufus, the turtle I bought for Caroline in Chinatown:

Caroline and I are the ones giggling in the background. He is too tiny for me to focus on, so I haven't been able to get any good pictures, but trust me, he is adorable. And don't worry, we are getting him a bigger tank.

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Thursday, July 6th, 2006
6:53 pm
My scores come out to four 6s, one 5 and one 4. Sadly no 7s, but I'm not really complaining. Also, a D on my EE but a B on my TOK essay, so one extra point there. The total comes out to 34, if you don't feel like adding (pssh, I never have to take math again).

I'm happy.  

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Tuesday, July 4th, 2006
3:21 pm
I slept in until 11! Days off are great. In two weeks, I'll no longer have either of my jobs. I don't really have time to get a new job before school starts, so I guess that means I'll actually have some vacation time. Which will probably be spent getting ready to leave.

Ellen, here are the Ark songs I said I'd upload for you:
Kolla Kolla
This Piece of Poetry Was Meant to Do Harm
One of Us Is Gonna Die Young
Rock City  Wankers
Also, I'm making a mix of songs for singing along with in the car and I could use some suggestions. So far I have stuff like "Carry On Wayward Son" and "Suffragette City" and "Under Pressure". Any ideas?

current mood: bored

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Thursday, June 29th, 2006
10:25 pm
I have less free time than I did during school, and I'm doubly exhausted. But, you know, money. (Is this what it will always be like?)

At least I have the 4th off from both jobs, but even when I'm not working I have a million things to do. There are so many things to get sorted out. I have two school obligations but one of them is bullshit and I need to get it settled but I'm always working during the day so I never have time. If I end up having to pay it---I can't even--god. Eighty fucking dollars for a mouthpiece that I know I turned in.

I am so tired.

I just found the best LJ community, though: greatpoets. I love poetry and I always want to read more but when I'm in the poetry section of the bookstore I never know where to start. Reading the poems posted is making my reading list longer and longer and longer.

I don't remember if I posted this already, but I have enrolled in all my classes for next semester: Honors English and Geography plus lab and German and Intro to Art History. 16 hours. I didn't get all of the classes I wanted (notice the lack of Spanish or linguistics classes) but all in all I'm satisfied.

I should probably try to get some sleep; I have at least three errands to run before noon tomorrow.

current mood: sleepy

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Wednesday, June 7th, 2006
9:26 pm

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Friday, May 26th, 2006
5:32 pm
I can't bring myself to make an actual update on my life because I'm too busy avoiding things. So I'll just post a meme! It's sort of like the one that Sarah did. I posted a couple of the songs.

Movie soundtrack for your life. The rules:

1. Put your music player of choice on shuffle
2. Scene one = first song played, scene two = second, so on.
3. No cheating/skipping
4. Pass it on

Some of those fit extraordinarily well and I didn't even cheat on them.

There is going to be a new season of Project Runway this summer and I'm excited. Bravo is pretty great with reality shows. I really got in to Top Chef towards the end, too. I was glad Harold won; he was adorable. And, you know, a good chef or whatever. But anyway, I still prefer PR because I know more about fashion than I do about food. Plus the contestants are more entertaining. I'm just happy I'll have something to look forward to watching in the summer. Yay!

current mood: avoidant

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Tuesday, May 16th, 2006
3:32 pm

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Friday, May 12th, 2006
7:34 pm
So, um, I'm a little scared about the next season of Gilmore Girls now. Jesus Christ.

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3:35 pm
I probably should have done this earlier.

Let me know which one you want and I promise I will have them next week. Or whenever I see you next, I suppose.

current mood: moody

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Thursday, March 23rd, 2006
9:15 pm
You know what sucks? Vertigo.

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Tuesday, March 21st, 2006
8:04 pm
I have had some serious mood swings today. But I have a therapist now, so it's okay!

Anyway, this post is mostly to show off my new haircut:
I look stupid in this picture, but my hair looks pretty.Collapse )

I had a dream last night that we went on a field trip to see a production of The Tempest and it was on a ship and we had to swim out to it. It was really odd.

I am in love with this song right now: Jens Lekman- Maple Leaves.
She said it was all make-believe/but I thought she said maple leaves

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