I am in love with greek-style yogurt. It's so creamy! I got this kind at the Merc that has fig in the bottom and it is amazing. But even the plain is good with honey.
I ordered some text books on half.com for my Kaqchikel class and they sent me the wrong one! Hopefully I can get it sorted out before we start reading it. And they still haven't sent me the main textbook! How am I supposed to write sentences about getting drunk on moonshine without it?
In other news, I am sick to death of my roommates boyfriend, who is in our room at least 10 hours of every day. I can't wait for my giant house next year!
November like a train wreck as if a locomotive made of cold had hurtled out of Canada and crashed into a million trees, flaming the leaves, setting the woods on fire.
The sky is a thick, cold gauze but there's a soup special at the Waffle House downtown, and the Jack Parsons show is up at the museum, full of luminous red barns.
Or maybe I'll visit beautiful Donna, the kickboxing queen from Santa Fe, and roll around in her foldout bed.
I know there are some people out there who think I am supposed to end up in a room by myself
with a gun and a bottle full of hate, a locked door and my slack mouth open like a disconnected phone.
But I hate those people back from the core of my donkey soul and the hatred makes me strong and my survival is their failure,
and my happiness would kill them so I shove joy like a knife into my own heart over and over
and I force myself toward pleasure, and I love this November life where I run like a train deeper and deeper into the land of my enemies.
After I heard It's a Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall played softly by an accordion quartet through the ceiling speakers at the Springdale Shopping Mall, I understood there's nothing we can't pluck the stinger from,
nothing we can't turn into a soft drink flavor or a t-shirt. Even serenity can become something horrible if you make a commercial about it using smiling, white-haired people
quoting Thoreau to sell retirement homes in the Everglades, where the swamp has been drained and bulldozed into a nineteen-hole golf course with electrified alligator barriers.
You can't keep beating yourself up, Billy I heard the therapist say on television to the teenage murderer, About all those people you killed— You just have to be the best person you can be,
one day at a time—
and everybody in the audience claps and weeps a little, because the level of deep feeling has been touched, and they want to believe that the power of Forgiveness is greater than the power of Consequence, or History.
Dear Abby: My father is a businessman who travels. Each time he returns from one of his trips, his shoes and trousers are covered with blood- but he never forgets to bring me a nice present; Should I say something? Signed, America.
I used to think I was not part of this, that I could mind my own business and get along,
but that was just another song that had been taught to me since birth—
whose words I was humming under my breath, as I was walking through the Springdale Mall.
We had rented, I remember, a room with a balcony. How many days and nights? Five, perhaps--no more.
Even when we weren't touching we were making love. We stood on our little balcony in the summer night. And off somewhere, the sounds of human life.
We were the soon to be anointed monarchs, well disposed to our subjects. Just beneath us, sounds of a radio playing, an aria we didn't in those years know.
Someone dying of love. Someone from whom time had taken the only happiness, who was alone now, impoverished, without beauty.
The rapturous notes of an unendurable grief, of isolation and terror, the nearly impossible to sustain slow phrases of the ascending figures-- they drifted out over the dark water like an ecstasy.
Such a small mistake. And many years later, the only thing left of that night, of the hours in that room.
So I think I will post a few of my favorites before May is here.
Other Lives and Dimensions and Finally a Love Poem by Bob Hicok
My left hand will live longer than my right. The rivers of my palms tell me so. Never argue with rivers. Never expect your lives to finish at the same time. I think
praying, I think clapping is how hands mourn. I think staying up and waiting for paintings to sigh is science. In another dimension this is exactly what's happening,
it's what they write grants about: the chromodynamics of mournful Whistlers, the audible sorrow and beta decay of "Old Battersea Bridge." I like the idea of different
theres and elsewheres, an Idaho known for bluegrass, a Bronx where people talk like violets smell. Perhaps I am somewhere patient, somehow kind, perhaps in the nook
of a cousin universe I've never defiled or betrayed anyone. Here I have two hands and they are vanishing, the hollow of your back to rest my cheek against,
your voice and little else but my assiduous fear to cherish. My hands are webbed like the wind-torn work of a spider, like they squeezed something in the womb
but couldn't hang on. One of those other worlds or a life I felt passing through mine, or the ocean inside my mother's belly she had to scream out.
Here when I say "I never want to be without you," somewhere else I am saying "I never want to be without you again." And when I touch you in each of the places we meet
in all of the lives we are, it's with hands that are dying and resurrected. When I don't touch you it's a mistake in any life, in each place and forever.
Today in Geography, we watched a National Geographic video about cyclones. It talked about Hurricane Andrew for a while, and then mentioned how fortunate it was that Andrew didn't hit New Orleans. The video went on to discuss how New Orleans had never been hit by a major hurricane, which is lucky, because it wouldn't hold up well. It showed a meteorologist discussing how the levees only provided a false sense of security, and if a storm came through, the city would be unprepared and it would be a disaster. It was chilling, really.
In other news, why didn't I hear about the movie adaptation of The Mysteries of Pittsburgh earlier? Peter Saarsgaard is playing Cleveland, which is so awesome I could die. He's my favorite character. I really want to reread the book, now.
I'm really looking forward to fall break, although I have a class until 7:15 Wednesday, which sucks. I wish it was a class I could get away with skipping.
I made this mix in June. When I listen to it now, it reminds me of Central Park. I'm really proud of the way the songs flow; I think this is the best mix I've made.
I love Chicago. I think I want to live there some day. I can't form my thoughts well enough to say anything about the trip, but overall it was enjoyable, despite a few burned bridges. My pictures aren't that great so I don't know if I'll post any of them. Instead, here is a video of Rufus, the turtle I bought for Caroline in Chinatown:
Caroline and I are the ones giggling in the background. He is too tiny for me to focus on, so I haven't been able to get any good pictures, but trust me, he is adorable. And don't worry, we are getting him a bigger tank.
My scores come out to four 6s, one 5 and one 4. Sadly no 7s, but I'm not really complaining. Also, a D on my EE but a B on my TOK essay, so one extra point there. The total comes out to 34, if you don't feel like adding (pssh, I never have to take math again).
I slept in until 11! Days off are great. In two weeks, I'll no longer have either of my jobs. I don't really have time to get a new job before school starts, so I guess that means I'll actually have some vacation time. Which will probably be spent getting ready to leave.
Also, I'm making a mix of songs for singing along with in the car and I could use some suggestions. So far I have stuff like "Carry On Wayward Son" and "Suffragette City" and "Under Pressure". Any ideas?
I have less free time than I did during school, and I'm doubly exhausted. But, you know, money. (Is this what it will always be like?)
At least I have the 4th off from both jobs, but even when I'm not working I have a million things to do. There are so many things to get sorted out. I have two school obligations but one of them is bullshit and I need to get it settled but I'm always working during the day so I never have time. If I end up having to pay it---I can't even--god. Eighty fucking dollars for a mouthpiece that I know I turned in.
I am so tired.
I just found the best LJ community, though: greatpoets. I love poetry and I always want to read more but when I'm in the poetry section of the bookstore I never know where to start. Reading the poems posted is making my reading list longer and longer and longer.
I don't remember if I posted this already, but I have enrolled in all my classes for next semester: Honors English and Geography plus lab and German and Intro to Art History. 16 hours. I didn't get all of the classes I wanted (notice the lack of Spanish or linguistics classes) but all in all I'm satisfied.
I should probably try to get some sleep; I have at least three errands to run before noon tomorrow.
I can't bring myself to make an actual update on my life because I'm too busy avoiding things. So I'll just post a meme! It's sort of like the one that Sarah did. I posted a couple of the songs.
Movie soundtrack for your life. The rules:
1. Put your music player of choice on shuffle 2. Scene one = first song played, scene two = second, so on. 3. No cheating/skipping 4. Pass it on
Some of those fit extraordinarily well and I didn't even cheat on them.
There is going to be a new season of Project Runway this summer and I'm excited. Bravo is pretty great with reality shows. I really got in to Top Chef towards the end, too. I was glad Harold won; he was adorable. And, you know, a good chef or whatever. But anyway, I still prefer PR because I know more about fashion than I do about food. Plus the contestants are more entertaining. I'm just happy I'll have something to look forward to watching in the summer. Yay!
I had a dream last night that we went on a field trip to see a production of The Tempest and it was on a ship and we had to swim out to it. It was really odd.
I am in love with this song right now: Jens Lekman- Maple Leaves. She said it was all make-believe/but I thought she said maple leaves